I need closure!

It’s human nature to seek to understand why certain things happen in our lives. Events that lead us to ask why include the death of a loved one, losing a job, or losing something valuable to us. One of the most common experiences that leads a person to seek closure is the end of a relationship.

some of the questions asked include

Why did she leave me?

Why did he end the relationship?

Where did l mess up?

Could l have done better?

Did they find someone better than me?

Why did she choose him over me?

Wasn’t l good enough?

People react differently to breakups, for some it’s like nothing ever happened but some become an emotional wreck as they feel like their like is coming to an end. People deal with breakups differently, some cry their eyes out, some rely on alcohol, some choose to write down how they feel while some find satisfaction after breaking or hitting something. 

“I need closure.” Is one of the most common phrases that come up after a breakup. Most people claim that they cannot move on until they get closure. Stacey Laura Lloyd says closure is getting an understanding as to exactly why a relationship ended and no longer feeling emotional attachment or pain associated with the relationship. It allows you to move on and establish new and healthy relationships.

 

Unfortunately, at times one never gets closure but eventually heal. This got me thinking about whether it’s really about getting closure. Time and again we claim we want to know the truth about why the other person left us or chose someone over us, yet we might be able to stomach it or we reject it.

The end of a relationship usually comes when we least expect it or when we do not want it to happen. Could it be that regularly when we say we need closure, the reality is we are not willing or ready to let someone go because we would have built our whole life around them so much that when they leave we feel like a part of us is dead and there is nothing to live for? After making so many plans about what we would do with that person, like traveling or going for a game of golf we wonder what it would have felt like and just the reality of those things not ever going to happen leaves us shattered. We yearn for the small things that they did for us such as a good morning message first thing when we wake up or just spending time with them. We regret giving our everything and letting someone into our hearts only to have our love thrown back to our faces.

At times breakups can turn us into people that we are not especially if we do not let go. One of the things one might do is to seek revenge because they want the next person to hurt the same way they are hurting but not realise that plotting the revenge might add to our pain and elongate the recovery time. 

The first step to recovery is to accept that a person is out of your life. Remember that you had a life before you met this person. Adjust your life and normalise not having them in your life. Be the bigger person and forgive them for all the pain they caused you even if they do not apologise or feel they wronged you. You must forgive yourself. Over time l have learned that sometimes people tend to be too hard on themselves after a breakup. They are angry with themselves for not seeing or ignoring the signs earlier. However, the truth is most times we couldn’t have done anything to stop that person from leaving or being with someone else. Always remember that how people treat you has less to do with you and more with them. Sadly, at times we give our time, money, emotions, and other resources to people who do not reciprocate the love we give to them. The saying, Love is blind might be true in this case because we see the signs that this person is not committed to us the way we do or that there is someone else, but we chose to ignore it. it is important to always guard your heart and be careful about who you let in.

After a breakup, one mistake that most people do is, they choose to ignore how they are feeling, however, one must go through the emotions. Cry if you must, vent to someone you trust, do whatever will help you express how you feel. Holding emotions in is like continually blowing air into a balloon, it will inevitably blow up and the pieces cannot be put back together. Therefore, take care of you, it is ok to cry as it is part of the healing. 

An important lesson that l have learned is people are fickle-minded. Sometimes we hold people in high esteem and expect them to treat us well and not hurt us, to respect us, and take care of our hearts and when they do not live up to the expectation we are shattered. It is important to guard our hearts with all we have. Always remember that you cannot control how people treat you, nevertheless you can control how you react. 

Habitually we hold ourselves back because we feel the person who broke our hearts owes us an explanation, an apology, or even their life. Bear in mind that no one owes you anything, but you owe it to yourself to be the best version of you despite your experiences. Today decide to heal, to forgive, and move on.

Who do you seek to please?

For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭1:10‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

The words of Paul in the scripture above got me to reflect on my walk with Christ.
🤔I got to ask myself, who do l seek to please, men or God?
Do l fear God or do l fear man more? Who approval do l seek, God’s or man’s?

So often we find ourselves in the snare of waiting for the approval of man. We are more concerned about what people think of us than what God thinks of us. Let ya be careful of seeking an audience with men while drifting away from the only One who truly matters.
But if we truly are servants of God, our goal should be seeking God’s approval and pleasing God.

Time to Reflect and Reset

When this year started, most of us were excited and were anticipating to take big strides. I remember seeing statuses and captions such as Twenty plenty, and 2020 is my year. Three months down the line, it feels like it’s been a year or even more because of the events and a roller coaster of emotions that we have been through.

At the start of the year a lot of people made resolutions, some are written down and some are just desires in our hearts. We all aspire to make something of our lives and get closer and closer to our dreams.

At times we find ourselves lagging in our own lives, constantly trying to catch up. For most, this has been a reality as life has just been happening to us and we are not in control. Some have found themselves so busy this year and it feels like your life is ahead of you and you are trying to catch up.  Instead of letting life happen to us, we can be intentional about the next 21 days and set aside time to reflect and reset. Decisions made in the next 21 days might be a turning point for the rest of your life.

yourdictionary.com  defines To reflect as to think deeply about an issue. This is a good time to sit down and take stock of our lives. Ask yourself the important questions,

What is my purpose in life?

What direction is my life taking?

How did l get where l am?

Is this where l ought to be?

What is most important in my life?

What have l been giving most of my time to?

What should l be giving my time to?

 

 

There might be things that we have been putting aside since the beginning of the year because we were busy or caught up doing other things. Frequently, l hear people saying, l really want to do this but l do not have time, l really want to spend more time in prayer and in the word but with work l just never seem to get time etc. For you, it might not be prayer but something that you know you must to be doing but have managed to set aside for a while.

 

To Reset is to an act or instance of setting, adjusting, or fixing something in a new or different way (dictionary.com). Take time to meditate and evaluate your life. What is it that needs adjusting or fixing? In some instances, it’s about turning a new leaf.

 

 

Now that we are going to be home for the next couple of weeks, what is your excuse?

This is a perfect opportunity to hit the reset button. Instead of just sitting around and waiting for the lock down to end, take this time to reset your life. It is in this time that you will discover what and who really matters in your life. It’s easy to get caught up in certain things and doing what other people want you to do while neglecting the weightier things in life. For some, resetting might be something as small as de-cluttering the house or ending certain relationships while for others it might be moving houses, buying land, having some me time, spending more time in the word and prayer or spending time with your family or loved ones.

 

Do not let these days go to waste. Instead have a to do list, be productive. Take time to rest, reflect and reset accordingly.

Schooled by the Jacaranda tree

On my way home one afternoon, l sat in my car, stuck in traffic and my mind was consumed with so many things. Amid my thoughts, the enchanting purple-flowered Jacarandas caught my attention, and in the most unusual ways, educated me.

What comes to your mind at the mention of the Jacaranda tree?

Jacarandas portray diverse things to various people. To some, they mark the commencement of summer, the Jacaranda festival, stinging bees or allergies. Without a doubt, the Jacaranda trees have an aesthetic value and are unique. In this article, l will share the lessons derived from this beautiful tree.

 

 

1. Despite the conditions around you, BLOOM in the time of blooming

Isn’t it amazing that regardless of a drought the Jacaranda still blooms? Even more fascinating is that the Jacaranda tree is in full bloom in the driest time of the year, after winter and before the rains come.

Instead of thriving and making the most of our time, we make all sorts of excuses for not doing what we are supposed to do. Regularly, we let the state of affairs surrounding us dictate what we can or cannot do.

However, after being schooled by the Jacaranda, l learnt that regardless of what it looks like, flourish. In the bible, Jacob sowed in a time of famine and reaped a hundredfold. I have heard of so many testimonies of people who got their breakthrough in non-viable conditions, as well as others who have set up companies in ailing economies. Therefore, be encouraged to stand our ground in what seems like impossible situations, being confident that victory is certain.

2.Know the season

For me, the Jacaranda tree is like a siren alerting me of summer. When we see the Jacaranda trees blooming, we know that it is officially summertime. Just the sight of the blooming trees brings joy to so many people after a long winter season.

When the Jacaranda tree starts blooming, it is a wake-up call to change how we dress, speak and act because the seasons have changed.

When summer comes, we put away the fur coats, boots, electric blankets and heaters. Every tree sheds its leaves in winter so that they can make it through to the next season.

In the same way, in our lives, as seasons change, there are certain things, such as friends and habits that we need to put away. One must perceive the season they are in, do away with unnecessary baggage and equip themselves accordingly.

 

3. Be a bearer of good news

Not only do these trees signal the end of winter, but they also bring about the anticipation for rains. Rains bring an expectation of a favourable season as well as the availability of water and food.

Rather than being a bearer of bad news all the time, be a person that arouses some hope in other people’s lives. When people think of you you, what comes into their minds? Do people take a smile or frown at the thought of you? Aim to be that person who speaks life, love, peace, encouragement and joy.

4. Preparation time is key 

During the rainy season, trees store food for the winter season when they will be in dormancy. People admire the Jacaranda tree adorned with purple or white flowers.

In that admiration remember that there is a price to pay for that beauty and it does not happen overnight. One should have a detailed plan for achieving their goals and what resources it will take to get there. Plan for tomorrow because tomorrow’s success depends on the preparation today. What are you doing today to set yourself up for the future?

5. You can flourish in a foreign land 

Even though Jacarandas are not originally from Zimbabwe, they still flourish, remain significant and add a touch of colour to our nation.

Countless times we limit ourselves and think that our success will only come in common territory. The Jacaranda tree defies the odds by adapting, blooming and flourishing in a foreign land. Likewise, our success is not limited to our homeland or comfort zone. Get out there and flourish in a foreign land.

Do not be discouraged as you go through what seems like an impossible situation. With the right preparation and knowledge of the season, you can conquer even in a foreign land. If it has been done before, then it can be done again!

The Inheritance Saga

“Take care of the children, ” Priscilla said as she took her last breath. Tears started trickling down her husband’s face, Clive. Priscilla was a successful businesswoman, survived by her husband of 30 years and 2 children. Her desire to leave a legacy for her children drove her to work hard.
While she was alive, systems were put in place to ensure that the business outlived her. She trained her children Victor and Viola how to run the company. All this was done to ensure that her kids would get an inheritance.
On the other hand, she overlooked the importance of including her children’s names in the business papers. Furthermore, there was no will or trust to prove that the children were the rightful heirs. Because of the love that she shared with Clive, she trusted him to do things right in making sure that the children received their fair share of what their mother had left for them.

Several years passed and Clive decided to remarry. Sophia was Clive’s new wife. Unfortunately, Clive only lived for 5 years after that and died. Witty Sophia, as Clive’s surviving spouse, changed all the estate papers to her name. Accordingly, Victor and Viola were left with nothing to their names. Determined to possess their inheritance, they hired the best lawyers in town and started preparing for the battle which was before them. Unquestionably, all this could have been avoided by their parents either writing a will or putting everything in a trust with them as beneficiaries.

Previously, a widow or widower’s greatest fear was the inlaws looting the inheritance or part of the estate after the death of their spouse. Lately, there has been a lot of situations where the children are left homeless after the surviving parent remarries.

Mostly when people draft their trust or wills, it is to make sure that their estate is secure for their beneficiaries after they die. However, children are sometimes robbed of their inheritance because the parents would have omitted the will or trust.

A significant number of widows/widowers remarry after the death of their partner. In this case, chances are some of the properties left by the partner who died will now be co-owned by the new wife/husband. Very few people then have the decency to hand over the estate to the rightful owners, the children.

Unfortunately, most people overlook having a will or trust because they are in love. They assume that their new wife/husband will consider the children and give them a fair share of the estate. On the contrary, in some cases, the surviving step-parent assumes monopoly over the estate, leaving the children who are the rightful heirs, with nothing.

In the interest of the heirs (children), parents should make sure that estates and inheritances are in a trust or will, with the children stated as beneficiaries. Inheritance fights have left many tore families apart because these vital issues were not addressed. I encourage every parent out there to take time and secure their children’s inheritance in a trust to avoid incidences like the Victor and Viola one above.

Diary of the girl who aborted: Note to my unborn child

I am sorry for depriving you of life. My heart bleeds, l do not know how to even express how l feel inside. I know my sorry will not bring you back, however l hope you will hear my heart’s cry. l apologise for being so egoistic.

There is no justification for my actions! How I wish I had known then what I know now. I would have kept you, my baby. The guilt of ending your life before it began still breaks my heart even though so many years have passed by. Thoughts of you bring tears to my eyes as I just cannot forget you. If I could turn back the time I would. I would carry you in my womb till you were born, nurse you, carry you in my arms, look you in the eyes and whisper, “I LOVE YOU”.

It was a cool, peaceful night when sleep was cut short by sudden sharp pains in my lower abdomen. This had become the norm for a couple of weeks. The pain had become my alarm in the middle of the night. It felt like someone was cutting through my uterus with a chainsaw. I could not take it anymore, therefore I went to see the doctor hoping that the many sleepless nights of the excruciating pain would come to an end.

“Have you had a pregnancy test?” the doctor asked, as he intently gazed into my eyes. This is not what I was expecting the doctor to say.because being pregnant was not on my to-do list. At that moment a lot of things started going through my mind.

“I am not ready for this!” I exclaimed. My parents have so many expectations. They want to see their baby girl walking down the aisle and only have kids after marriage. I started imagining how much my mum would be disappointed after so much she had invested and taught me. I did not even want to start thinking about how much damage this would do to my relationship with my dad. I could not stomach telling him that his little angel, was about to be a mum.

My friends and I would always talk about our future. We dreamt of climbing the ladder of success, meet our prince charming, have the perfect weddings, and only have kids when everything was in place. It was then that l learned that sometimes life is not as perfect as we want it to be. My voice was always the loudest, as l swore that l would never get pregnant out of wedlock. All my friends looked up to me and l just could not break this news to them. I was so ashamed and disappointed in myself.
I was due to a promotion at work. My bosses were impressed with the hard work that l had put in and I was about to get to the climax of my career.

My only hope was your dad. He was the love of my life and my friend. After all, he had promised to marry me so I thought the news would make him happy. When I phoned to inform him. “l am not ready. We cannot keep it.” was all he said in a hesitant voice.

I could not fathom how could the man who claimed to love me make me go through this.

After weeks of the stomach cramps and throwing up, being alone, and your father telling me that we had to terminate the pregnancy I was going through a roller-coaster of emotions. My heart was torn, a part of me wanted to keep you. It just seemed like the odds were against me. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I was caught between a rock and a hard place.
I went to check how old you were and according to the scan you were less than 10 weeks old. When l went for the scan l hoped that they would find some abnormality, an excuse for me to abort. That was not the case. I was left with no excuses.

In my conquest to find a reason, went on the internet. After much research, I convinced myself that you were not human yet and therefore it could not be counted as murder.

Sooner or later a decision had to be made. Regrettably, I chose to “get rid” of you. I found myself illegally buying abortion pills as this was the only way to get them.

My heart sank at the thought of losing you but at l thought this was the only way out for me. A part of me told me that it was for the better, that l would not be sick anymore and that l would get my life back.

I took the pills and l slept, only to wake up in a pool of blood and stomach cramps a few hours later. That was it! Just like that, you were gone. l could not even give you a proper burial or resting place as you were flushed down the toilet. You deserved better.

I hated your father and blamed him for pushing me to do it. I could tell that he was broken too but l could not forgive him. Although he sought my forgiveness with tears and many words, my heart was hard as stone towards him.

The weeks after that were the hardest for me. Only my pillow knows how much I cried and longed for you. I could not stop thinking about you. The guilt was consuming me. You went with a part of me.
Today, after so many years, all l can do is imagine what your smile would look like, what would your voice sound like, were you a boy or a girl? what were you going to look like? What gifts did you have? Maybe you were the one carrying the solution for one of the world’s biggest problems, but l robbed you of all that.

Regrettably, I was more scared about people temporarily judging me than l was of missing out on spending a lifetime with you. I spent too much time thinking about the what-ifs. Perhaps my parents were not going to take it as hard as l thought and my friends were going to be the pillars that I needed to carry you through. l made decisions based on fear and assumptions.

I wonder what you think of me. I should have done better. I should have opened my mind to see beyond that moment. Instead of worrying about what people would say and think I should have been concerned about losing you and missing out on doing life with you, raising you into the man or woman that you were supposed to be. I am sorry.

 

Mugabe Death, is this it?

 

What an interesting Friday morning it has been, receiving confirmed news of the death of Robert Mugabe, affectionately known as baba Chatunga. Good news to some and heart breaking to some. Listening to several people expressing their feelings towards the death of Zimbabwe’s former President Robert Mugabe got me to introspect on several things and ask some questions.
Beyond doubt, people are walking around with so much pain and unhealed wounds. I am almost convinced for some, the pain has been carried for so long to the point that the root of the pain is now unknown, and sadly, have become like the mama bear who has been robbed of her cub and will attack whoever crosses her path.
According to most, Mugabe ruined their lives and he is the reason why their lives are such a mess. He has not been in power since November 2017 and it seems most are holding on grudges from a lot of years ago. Yet even after his death their lives haven’t changed an inch, so is it really Mugabe’s fault?
Just a few years ago, every now and then rumours of Mugabe’s death would circulate and people would celebrate. What is it really that was being celebrated? Today some of those very people are the ones posting him on social media expressing how hurt they are by his death. In my opinion, we are such a fickle people, one day we feel this way and tomorrow we feel the complete opposite. November 2017 saw millions of Zimbabwean marching for the exit of Mugabe in the streets of Harare. Mugabe’s death got me asking why people really marched. Were people marching because they wanted Mugabe to go, or was it mere peer pressure?
Several people who have publicly expressed their dislike for this man today had his pictures on their social media. People seem to be sending mixed signals about how they feel about him, or maybe it could be what the popular Shona says “Wafa Wanaka”. We tend to see the good in people after they die. At almost every funeral every person will talk about how good someone was and how they have impacted their lives and choose to forget their bad side. Why do we have so much good to say after someone dies yet while they are alive, we have no kind words for them.
Why do we wait for people to die for us to realise how we truly feel? For some, while our siblings, relatives and friends are alive, we barely communicate, and a small argument will cause us to ignore each other for years. Funny thing is at their funerals we cry the loudest!
Now that Mugabe is dead, has your life become any better?
Could it be that sometimes we spend a lifetime or most of our years thinking if things were different or if this person was not in my life then things would be so much better instead of making the best of what we have?
Could it be that sometimes we carry UNNECCESSARY BAGGAGE such as bitterness, unforgiveness and anger which then slows us down ?
Could it be that sometimes we spend our energy fretting over things that we cannot change instead of focusing on that which we can change.
It is not only Mugabe that people have wished dead, which has made me ask “Murikuda kumudya nyama here?” which means do you want to eat his flesh? Why are we expecting someone to die for things to start working in our lives, WILL THEIR DEATH BRING ABOUT CHANGE IN OUR LIVES? I only know one death that has impacted people’s lives, Jesus’ death brought about our salvation.

 

 

 

The silent cry

At times people around us are going through pain, heartbreak, abuse, disappointment etc. The silent cry is a shout for help. l call it a silent cry because at times it’s not loud enough to our intended audience. Despite how much you scream and cry out no one hears you.

Ever felt alone in a room full of friends ?
At times it feels like the weight of the world is on your back and No matter how much you try to look for someone to talk to or pour your heart out it’s like your cry for help is not is not being heard. Amid the company of those close to us, in the midst of laughter, deep within there is a cry “l am not ok, can’t you see it? Please help me!”

The cry for help

Many a time we pour our hearts out, let out our feelings to those around us hoping that they would give us help. The help can be even just a word of encouragement “You are doing really well”, or a word of assurance “it’s going to be OK“

One will even just send a message or call those they think will hear their cry, unfortunately,  the people we think are ready to listen to us are either busy with their own lives or they do not realise that we are screaming out “HELP!”.

“Help, l am being abused,

help l am stressed,

help l am struggling,

help my heart is heavy,

help l cannot this anymore, HELP!”

After some time of not being heard, our hearts cry seeming like a mere figment of our imagination, we become desperate! This is when we see someone showing some unexpected behaviour traits. It’s almost natural to start judging them for their behaviour especially one which we do not agree with, such as excessive drinking, excessive partying, controversial WhatsApp statuses. Could it be that they are trying to get our attention?  Could it be a sign that they can barely keep their head above the water and a signal that they are going through a rough patch and they need help. Instead of judging them about what they are doing wrong maybe we should be asking, “Are you ok?”  or “Is there anything l can help with?” or “If you want to talk l am here for you.”

We are living in tough times and there is so much going on around us. I have come to learn and accept that we are different, and we react to circumstances differently. At times we think because we have adopted or are coping, the next person should also adapt and solder on like we are. We say “Be strong! Come on! pull your socks up! or stop throwing a pity party for yourself. In my mother tongue we say “Anozviitisa!”

“I should have been there for her/him!”  We have said that several times, although at times it’s not verbal but it is very loud in our hearts. When we finally know that someone close to us was going through a tough season, we beat ourselves up because we were not there for them. What hurts the most is even though we sensed that they needed us but we were too caught up with our own problems and ignored the nudge in our spirit. It is heart breaking to know that maybe we should have done something but then we didn’t. We beat ourselves up especially when its too late and you hear,

 “They got divorced”,

“She’s going through depression”,

 “He committed suicide.”

 “He’s now hooked on drugs”

“She ran away from home.”

When was the last time you checked on a friend / brother / sister just to find out how they are really doing? At times all it will take is a look, touch and a word (Pastor Tom). When you can lend a hand or even just an ear, sometimes all it will take is just listening. Sit down and listen. Hold their hand and assure them that you will be there for them.  Don’t be so quick to judge, rather be quick to show love. What seems like a small of act of love will go a long way in the life of those we love, it could save a life or a relationship.

love through the pain

At some point this year, l was in a place where my heart was heavy and l was in so much pain and l was willing to let go of a relationship that is dear to me. In the pain, God took me through a journey with lessons that l will share in this article. l was also reminded from a sermon from 2015 by Pastor Tommy Deuschle where he said: “When you say l trust you, it does not mean that l trust you not to hurt me but when you hurt me we can work through it.”

A stranger will hardly break your heart because there is no place for them in your heart. I have learnt that the people closest to you are the people most capable of hurting you.
We all have relationships in our lives; family, friends, the girlfriend, that boyfriend, beloved husband, lovely wife…and it is with these people that we are most vulnerable. We let our guard down when we are with those we love, we share with them our deepest secrets, our joys, our fears and our dreams. We trust them with all we have and in our minds, we are convinced that they will never do anything to hurt us. But after giving them all of our hearts they might do the unexpected and break our hearts into a million pieces.

I remember receiving a message from a friend years ago and she was saying that she did not want to be my friend anymore because of a rumour that she has heard. I was hurt because l thought because of the friendship that we had we would not end our relationship based on assumptions but rather talk things out. Nevertheless, she chose not to ask me about it but believe what the other person told them. She shut me out just like that. She cared for me so much that she chose to just close the door on me rather than open her heart to a conversation so that we could resolve the matter.
How many times do we chose to just shut someone out and not hear them out because we are scared of the pain that the truth might bring? What if opening our hearts will heal the pain and restore the broken relationship? Is it really easier to shutout everyone we love rather than work things out with them?
I have come to learn that relationships are a lot of work and sacrifice you literally have to die to self. It’s all about giving yourself, all or nothing! At times we are constantly hurt because we are thinking about getting and receiving; receiving love, attention, time etc but have we ever stopped to think what we are we giving in that relationship.

It is definitely not easy to take the pain from someone you love because you have trusted them so much and the last thing you expect from them is for them to hurt you.
The first reaction after being hurt is why did they do that, do they even care
We ask ourselves if we will ever forget, how can l forgive
If l just let go wont they take advantage of me and do it again.
And we think if they cared they wouldn’t have hurt us and we get so angry with ourselves for not guarding our heart and letting someone cause us so much pain.

Pain is like a parasite, it cripples us and sucks the life out of us. We can’t think or see beyond the pain and we are stuck in one place and we keep going in circles. One of the most dangerous things one can do is making a permanent decision based on temporary pain. We forget all the good times and precious moments we have had with that person. We forget the vows and promises made in good times. We are willing to throw away the whole sack of good fruit because we have found one bad fruit.

What are you focusing on?
For us to be able to heal and move on we have to focus on the good moments we have shared, focus on the good that the other person has done in our lives, the times they made us smile and the tough times that you have gone through together. Think of where you want to be together, the dreams and aspirations that you share. Instead of focusing on how much you have been hurt focus on the good that has been brought into your life by someone.
God has forgiven us despite how much we have sinned. We pray the Lord’s prayer and we say forgive us as we forgive those who trespass against us. As much as we need to be forgiven we should also forgive. Do unto others as you want them to do to you! God is amazing. He forgave us when he knew we would still mess up, he loved us when we were still in sin and gave us unconditional love. We often say what would Jesus do, well in this situation where we have so many questions like how will l know that you won’t hurt me again, how can l trust you again, is my heart safe with you …
As children of God, we ought to love just as God loves. He doesn’t wait for us to be -perfect so that He can love us but His love for us makes us perfect. Can we then love our family, friends, loved ones despite their flaws, loving them with their imperfections until they become the person that God has made them be. We sometimes give up on each other too soon.
Always ask yourself how would you want the next person to treat you if you were to make a mistake and hurt them? Life is too short to walk around with unforgiveness and not living our life to the fullest especially with our loved ones. Pain, unforgiveness, resentment, anger etc. are unnecessary baggage that we walk around with and these things will stop us from achieving greatness because they are heavy and will slow us down.

As we get into a new year, its good that we take some time to look at our relationships, reflect on we want to carry into the new year and what should we leave behind. What relationships are worth restoring? Do not wait till you lose someone for you to realise how much they mean to you.
One can only learn how much you love someone when you can forgive them and work past the pain and anger.

 

“For l know the plans that l have for you”

This is one of the verses that l have heard and said counteless times in my life and l am sure a lot of other believers know it by heart too. People use this verse to encourage themselves, assuring each other that everything is going to be alright and that there are brighter days ahead. As much as there are promises of good in the near future we tend to be oblivious about our now. Days and years will go by while we sit, do nothing and just wait for a better day…

l decided to go through the whole chapter to really understand the context of this verse. This scripture (Jeremiah 29) was written to the children of lsrael who were in exile in Babylon. One thing is certain , being in exile is definitely not a comfortable place. You are far from home and you always seem like a second class citizen and there is no  freedom. Things were definitely not rosey for the isralites in the foreign land and all they wanted was to go back home. This reminds me of myself , when things get hard am just like, Lord take me to my comfort zone , to what l am used to, take me home! But in verse 4-6 God gives an instruction which l think most of the children of Israel were either not ready for or did not want to hear.

Jer 29 vs 4-6 “This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. 6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease”

First of all it says that God is the one who carried the Isralites into exile.Naturally , we think that bad situations come from the devil and so we try and run away from those situations all the time. But God allows us to go through tough and traumatic times for a reason. Instead of being victims the Lord was instructing the Isralites to stand and do something. From this we learn that although we might go through trying times, it doesnt mean God does not have good plans for us ! He loves us still.While the Children of lsrael longed for Jerusalem God told them to build houses, settle down and increase. This definitely was the opposite of what they desired. If you are in exile, the last thing on your mind is settling down, especially when you know that there is a promise to go the promised land. Today we find ourselves in terrible situations , all we think about is how to get out the situation. We tell ourselves that this is not permanent and are convinced in our minds that it will be over before we know it. We hardly stop and think about developing ourselves in that situation. Instead we should stop and think, what is God desiring for me in this season, what is God teaching me..

As Zimbabweans we have been through interesting times and wish we would wake up to a new Zimbabwe, the bread basket of africa, where everyone has a job and its easy to run a business , the list is endless. But l feel in this season we need build , plant and eat the produce. We should be working with our hands and trusting God to give us favour and increase. Yes, the enviroment might not look favourable but the truth is if you dont plant then you wont eat. This is a time to increase and not decrease!

The Isralites were to only get out of exile in 70 years! This is a very long time. So many times we expect God to work according to our  timing. We want things done instantly , we say here and now! A lesson to learn from this scripture is that although we might have a promise, there is also a time for the promise to be fulfilled.

So while you wait for that promise, what are you doing? are you just sitting there having a pity party for yourself , listening to sad love songs, complaining about everything, being a victim of circumstances and letting out negative energy? Or are you going to be the different one, the trendsetter, who will go and work , start something and  do something in the place where they are, making lemonade out of lemons and choose to see the good rather than the bad.

Verse 7  says , “Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.” This particular verse got me to think about how many times l have actually prayed for this nation and the leaders.  Pray for the peace of Zimbabwe, Pray to the Lord for it because if Zimbabwe prospers, you too will prosper.”

This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.[b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

We can rest assured that when its time , God will come through for us and meet us at our point of need,take us out of bondage ,heal us from the pain and we will have our breakthrough. His word will be fulfilled and he will take us out of the mess we find ourselves in. But while we wait, may we not be stagnant, lets run with endurance. Let’s stop being victims and be victors! Yes, it will not be easy ! But keep pushing and trust God to bless the work of your hands and to grant you favour.

Stay Blessed!